Officially declaring that I’ve made the world’s largest vegan pizza until someone proves me wrong.
How big is this beast of a pizza exactly? No one knows for sure. I tried to measure it but it was literally longer than my ruler. So by my estimate, it’s anywhere between 1-1,000 feet long. For all we know it could be ten times larger than that though. It’s impossible to say.
Those of you who have only made pathetic average sized vegan pizzas must be in shock to learn that such a massive vegan pizza even exists. Well good news, I’m going to share the secret with you. Want to know how this obscure world record was broken?
I used a really big pan.
Most people use circular pans to bake pizzas. Most people are also dumber than dirt. I used a rectangular pan. Rectangles have four corners. A circle doesn’t have any corners at all. As you can imagine, this put me at a significant advantage.
My impressive new record seems like it could never be broken. Well as insane as it may sound, I’m actually planning to break it myself. How could I achieve such an extraordinary feat and establish myself as a double world record breaker, you ask?
Eight sided pan.
That’s right baby, the almighty octagon. I’m talking eight corners. Holy hell would that be a huge pizza. I’m planning on pulling off this stunt within the next decade, so check back here daily to make sure you don’t miss it.