5 Stars

This mammoth of a taco is so big that if the woolly mammoth was still alive it would probably feed exclusively on this.

Did you know scientists they are trying to bring back the woolly mammoth? It should happen in the next few years. Who would have guessed that they would figure out that before Flubber? I, for one, applaud scientists for taking the initiative to play God and revive an ancient species of massive furry elephants from the dead.

It’s about time we took a break from boring research such as curing cancer and stopping global warming. Hell, maybe the woolly mammoth even knows what the cure for cancer is. It’s not like we ever got the chance to ask them.

When these behemoths begin to roam the world again I imagine that they are going to be mighty hungry. After all, it has been over 4,000 years since the last woolly mammoth had a bite to eat.

I say that we should start woolly mammoths on an all-vegan taco diet the moment they emerge from whatever ungodly house-sized test tube we create them in. This will give the big lugs all the nutrients they need, and most importantly, will keep them from developing a taste for human flesh. After all, we don’t know what kind of primal hunger may dwell within these majestic creatures.

Vegan tacos should ensure that they see us humans as friends, not food. I used vegan tacos to cure my cannibalistic urges, so I’m not sure why it would be any different for the woolly mammoth.

Woolly Mammoths Might Like Vegan Tacos
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