How to make muffins healthy:
Step 1: Stuff them with vegetables and vegan cheese.
Step 2: Ignore anyone who tells you it still isn’t that healthy.
Ignoring people is the best way to accomplish literally everything. My doctor once told me that I would die if I ate nothing but candy for a month but I decided ignoring a medical professional would be the best medicine. And look who’s dead now! Him, not me. Dr. Manassa passed away last Spring. It was tragic to say the least.
Personally, I think stuffing a muffin is less weird than stuffing a turkey. Shoving bread up a turkey’s ass sounds like something that would be illegal in most states if filmed. Muffins lack a basic anatomy, and thus there is no inappropriate way to stuff a muffin.
There is a wrong way to stuff a muffin though. Do not stuff a muffin through the bottom. Or through the sides. Only stuff a muffin through the top. There is no inappropriate way to stuff a muffin but there are countless incorrect ways to stuff a muffin.
Did you know that 17% of global food waste comes from discarded muffins that were incorrectly stuffed? That’s enough stuffed muffins to feed all of India. So the next time you incorrectly stuff a muffin take a second to consider that you are responsible for starvation in India.