Did you know? The War on Drugs is actually an elaborate plot by the United States government to infiltrate Mexico and stop their vegan taco recipes from making it across the border. Heroin, cocaine, and marijuana were never really public enemy number one. They were public enemy number twelve at best. It was always the vegan tacos that Nixon feared most.
Do you honestly believe that Donald Trump gives a damn about illegal immigration? No. He’s trying to keep out the vegan tacos, not the Mexicans. The man only ran for president in the first place because the beef industry demanded it. His pockets are lined so deep with corrupt beefy bribes that he can barely walk at this point. It’s more of a waddle.
This brings us to the wall. Why is Trump so insistent that we build a wall instead of a fence? The average Mexican would struggle to scale either one. They are a proud yet vertically challenged people. It’s because vegan tacos could easily be slipped through the holes of a chain-link fence.
Before you know it the entire beef industry would crumble. After 41 miserable years of the War on Drugs, vegan taco prohibition will be over. And what fiesta of a day it will be when Americans can finally enjoy their vegan tacos free of persecution. Remember, it’s not a conspiracy theory if you’re right.