5 Stars

Don’t believe Trump’s lies, vegan grilled cheese is what will really make America great again.

America used to be great. Vegan grilled cheese was eaten for lunch and dinner daily. Heck, some fine patriots were even eating them for breakfast. Then the Great Depression struck and everyone was way too poor for vegan grilled cheese. Citizens resorted to eating eggs like some kind of impoverished prehistoric savages.

Today we are inaugurating a cartoon billionaire who promises to make America great again. But where is his promise to bring back the vegan grilled cheese? No such promise exists. And without the vegan grilled cheese there is no greatness.

The vegan grilled cheese adheres to a high standard of greatness that the Trumpster does not even come close to reaching. Vegan grilled cheese has never advocated war crimes or mocked a disabled reporter. If Saturday Night Live ever mocked vegan grilled cheese the sandwich would laugh along with everyone instead of throwing a Twitter fit.

Finally, I can guarantee that the vegan grilled cheese tastes better than Trump. I have no evidence to back up this claim, and that will not change. No one is willing to taste the Donald. You’ll just have to take my word for it.

Trump is somehow more orange than the vegan grilled cheese though. This is odd because Trump has clearly never eaten a vegan grilled cheese. The president is not what he eats. If he was, he would be a bulbous onion because he makes America cry.

Vegan Grilled Cheese Will Make America Great Again
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