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Did you know? Chocolate is healthier than cancer!

This is true as long as it is vegan, of course. Milk chocolate is not healthier than cancer. I’m no doctor, health expert, or trustworthy source of information, but I suspect that milk chocolate might even be the cause of cancer. Tell your friends.

Vegan chocolate is healthier than most things in life. Here is a list of 22 things that you can bet the farm are less healthy than vegan chocolate.

1. The Titanic. Vegan chocolate never sinks.

2. Diabetes. Type 1, 2, and 7.

3. Cow meat.

4. Pig meat.

5. Chicken meat.

6. Goat meat.

7. Human meat.

8. Meet and greet where they serve cow meat.

9. Eggs that come from chickens before chickens get turned into chicken meat.

10. Horse.

11. The hoof of the horse.

12. Childhood obesity.

13. Adulthood obesity.

14. Governor Chris Christie, who suffers from adulthood obesity.

15. Salad that is made of rocks instead of lettuce.

16. Rock candy that is an actual rock and not candy at all.

17. 300 degree coffee.

18. 300 degree Celsius coffee. The temperature of the previous coffee I spoke of was being measured in Fahrenheit.

19. February 25, 1943.

20. October 9, 1940.

21. July 7, 1940.

22. June 18, 1942.

What was I making a list of again? I lost track and fear that the last few things do not make sense in the context of this list at all. The four at the end appear to be the birth dates of the Beatles. You’ll never believe which one is Ringo’s.

Vegan Chocolate Is The Healthiest Chocolate
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