Have you ever peeled an orange by carving tiny circles into it? This enhances the citrus flavor and only takes 30 times longer than the usual method.
I have seen countless people peel oranges. I wasted my youth sitting in a Whole Foods parking lot with a pair of binoculars. It was a weird thing to do. Here are all the ways that you and your friends could be peeling your oranges.
1. Peel an orange using only your kneecaps.
2. Scream at your grandmother until she peels the orange for you. The elderly are frail and nearly immobile, but peeling oranges is one of the few tasks they are still equipped to handle.
3. Roll that orange down a hill. Let inertia do the work for you. Work smarter, not harder. Smart people roll fruit down hills.
4. Peel the orange with your teeth, while simultaneously swallowing the peel. This is also known as eating the entire orange.
5. Place the orange in a cardboard box. As decades pass the orange peel will naturally decay. Wait until only the juicy center of the orange survives. Time gets the best of us all eventually, and the orange peel is no exception.
6. Use your trusty .45 caliber revolver to shoot that pesky peel right off. Never bring an orange to a gunfight, they say. This is because the orange rarely wins.
7. Just use a can opener. An orange is nothing more than a can that is perfectly round. It is also different from a can in every other imaginable way. I swear to God that can opener will still work though.