All seafood in sushi is intentionally mislabeled. The tuna is dolphin. The salmon is dolphin. Sometimes even the rice is dolphin.
But wait, there’s more. The dolphin lurks in every corner of the sushi hut.
Does something seem a little fishy about your sake? The answer is no, because that sake is straight dolphin juice and a dolphin is no fish.
Chopsticks are just old blowholes. Everyone knows this.
Do you see that sushi chef behind the counter? Watch as he artfully slices the fish. Each cut is perfect. He knows each fish like the back of his hand. This is because that chef is a dolphin. He has no hands. He knows fish like the back of his flipper, and he knows that flipper quite well.
When your meal ends do not bother to tip the waiter. As you may have guessed, he is indeed a dolphin. This attentive dolphin has no use for your cold hard cash. While they may be one of the most intelligent creatures in the animal kingdom, dolphins are surprisingly incompetent when it comes to finances.
Find the nearest mirror and take a long hard look at yourself. Do you see the monster you have become from feasting upon the noble dolphin?
Look deep into your eyes. What do you see?
That’s right, a dolphin. You have been a dolphin all along.