5 Stars

If you’re having trouble convincing your children that vegetables are cool, just tell them that this oddity was planted on Earth by aliens. They’ll buy it.

Convincing your offspring to eat vegetables is hard work, and kids tend to think most veggies are lamer than this here romanesco. But with a little creativity you can encourage your kids to eat healthier foods than the garbage they usually consume on a daily basis.

Here are some clever ways to convince your children to eat vegetables.

1. Hide tomatoes all over the house. Children love games, and find the tomato is the most fun game there is that involves tomatoes.

2. Tell your child that every potato has a prize in the center of it. After they eat the entire potato and question the lack of prize accuse them of eating the precious potato prize. Yell at them and send them to bed with no dessert potato.

3. Explain to your stupid kid that if they do not eat an entire eggplant in the next 60 seconds their father will die in his sleep. If they fail to eat the eggplant in the allotted time kill their father after he goes to bed. Children don’t respect a bluffer.

4. Draw pictures of Illinois senator Dick Durbin eating broccoli. Senator Durbin is an American icon and children aspire to be just like him when they grow up. Your failure of a child will never succeed in the realm of public policy, but they don’t need to learn that harsh truth until they turn 11.

5. Pack that little bastard a bag of kale and hand him a one way ticket to the nearest orphanage. Raising kids is expensive, and you’ve got lottery tickets to buy!

Romanesco Is A Gateway Vegetable
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