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Clams have no legs, no arms, no eyes even, and yet humans pluck these defenseless little cripples out of the mud and eat them without an ounce of remorse.

Clams already have a hard enough life in their natural habitat. The ocean is not as handicapped accessible as one would think. Earth’s four oceans cover 70 percent of the planet, yet not one ramp can be found in them. Despicable.

And do any other sea creatures fight for aquatic handicapped rights? Not likely. The pompous octopus gloats at every chance, cruelly displaying all eight of its tentacles right before the pitiful clam’s eyes. A clam would kill to have just one measly tentacle. Also, does a clam even have eyes? Its disability knows no bounds.

We should dump more wheelchairs into the ocean. Let’s throw them in by the literal boatload. Will clams be smart enough to identify these wheelchairs and put them to good use? Definitely not. But it’s the thought that counts, and I don’t see anyone else here thinking about the cripples of the sea.

If anything, most of you are probably just making fun of clams behind their shells. Mocking their lack of any real limbs. Laughing at their illiteracy. Judging them for being so dirt poor. Jeeze people, just leave the little idiots alone already.

Pasta alle Vongole
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