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I don’t even want to know what kind of cruel unnatural things they force cows to eat in order for frozen yogurt to come out looking like this.

Let’s get this straight: Cows eat grass. They like grass. Love it even. Drive by a field of cows on any given day and guess what they’re doing. They’re nomming on an all you can eat grass buffet. And they look content as can be doing so.

I thought it was bad enough that farmers feed cows corn. It’s not what the big moo bears would like to be eating, but at least it’s vegan.

But this? What kind of monstrous concoctions are they feeding our bovine friends to create frozen yogurt with such an unnatural orange swirl?

I suspect that they force feed cows snow. This is used as the base of the frozen yogurt. It explains why the yogurt is so chilly, as well as the white color. My soul weeps at the thought of cows having to chug pounds upon pounds of freezing snow. I bet it doesn’t even melt until it reaches their third or fourth stomach.

And as for those ungodly orange stripes? Well, there’s only one possible explanation for that.

Basketballs.

The cruelty of the dairy industry astounds me. Cows have no desire to eat basketballs. They don’t even have a desire to play basketball.

I have decided to boycott basketball until an end is put to injustice. I am formally requesting that all NBA players go on strike as well. I would also like the Chicago Bulls to wear cow costumes in protest because that is a given.

Orange Striped Frozen Yogurt
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