I don’t know how many more chickens they need to slaughter to bring back their deceased leader, but they must be stopped. KFC has a history of evil. They might even be the worst fast food company to ever exist. That’s right, even worse than the dreaded Burger King.
Let’s go over the most evil things KFC has ever done:
1. Have you ever wondered how Mr. Sanders received the title of colonel? The Colonel was dishonorably discharged from the military for eating Winston Churchill’s pet chickens during World War II. The British reportedly considered joining the Germans due to this outrage. Sanders was almost single-handedly responsible for Hitler winning the war.
2. Colonel Sanders was a notorious chicken kicker. Did you think it was bad enough that he ate every chicken in sight? Well it gets worse. Sanders did not eat a single chicken without giving it a hard boot to the feathers first.
3. In the 1960s the United States government was planning to make veganism required by law. KFC put a quick stop to this by assassinating John F. Kennedy. Ruthless.
4. Kentucky Fried Chicken? Nope, KFC secretly stands for Kill Friendly Chickens. They intentionally seek out the friendliest chickens they can find and put them on the chopping block first. KFC is the most despicable acronym I have ever heard.
5. KFC does not believe that the customer is always right. They assert that the customer is sometimes wrong. Have they no shame?