Seriously though, how the hell am I supposed to eat this? Is it even edible? I mean if not it wouldn’t be the end of the world because it would still make a pretty badass decoration.
It would make a great centerpiece. I could put it in on the table in my living room. Dinner guests would be in awe. But then I’d need to buy a table. And a living room. And friends. Life is hard. I’ll probably just eat it instead.
I might need to just resort to my classic food preparation technique with this dragon fruit. When in doubt, throw it in the blender. It never fails. I make the best blended vegan tacos.
Can a dragon fruit even blend though? Not if the outer skin is as hard as dragon scales. Maybe that’s how it got its name. I’ve never attempted to blend a dragon, mainly because dragons are fictional creatures but also because that would not be vegan, but I assume they wouldn’t blend well.
In conclusion, I don’t know how to eat this. I’m a vegan food critic, not a vegan food assistant. Go stick a fork in it and hope for the best.