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Curiosity may have killed the cat, but some asshole in a slaughterhouse killed this cow.

You know who didn’t kill the cat or the cow though? Muslims, that’s who. Unless it’s a Muslim who enjoys a burger or steak, but that’s beside the point I’m struggling to make here.

Many people fear that Muslims are a much more dangerous threat to Americans than burgers. I imagine these are the kinds of people who also fear sharks and quicksand.

Since 9/11, zero Americans have been killed by immigrants from the seven countries listed in Trump’s joke of a ban. Some dude in Texas drowned in quicksand in 2015 though, so it’s looking like that should actually be a more legitimate fear than Islamophobia.

We haven’t even started talking about the real danger yet though. Burgers. Approximately 610,000 Americans die of heart disease every year. I’m gonna go ahead and guess the majority of those dead people had their fair share of burgers. I mean before they died, not after. No one feeds burgers to dead bodies. That would be silly and horrifying.

In conclusion, burgers are bad. Muslims are not burgers. We should be protesting in the streets for the government to ban burgers instead. If you would choose to ban Muslims over burgers then you are just as racist as people who refuse to eat blackberries.

Ban Burgers
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