5 Stars

You know what they say about nectarines.

If the inside of your nectarine is yellow it’s a fine fellow.

If the inside of your nectarine is brown put it down. It is past its prime and you should frown.

If the inside of your nectarine is green, it should not be seen. That nectarine is not ripe! Grab some super glue and stick it back on the tree.

If the inside of your nectarine is black, step way back. I do not know what went wrong but that nectarine is pure cancer. As in eating it will give you at least one type of cancer. Probably the lung type.

If your nectarine is pink, let it sink. To clarify, let it sink all the way into your stomach. That nectarine is good to go!

If the inside of your nectarine is blue, the problem is you. Nectarines are never blue. I fear you may suffer from a rare eye disorder. Please see an optometrist immediately.

If the inside is purple it’s a beet. It is not a nectarine. Not even close.

If you do not know what color the inside of your nectarine is then you are colorblind. It is best for you to avoid nectarines completely. They are not the right food for you. Go eat some peanut butter. Peanut butter is always the same color.



A Guide To Eating Nectarines
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